[ Shez belatedly catches up to how startled Yuri had been to see him transform, and though the surprise can't be undone, he's still quick to change back to his regular color scheme, no more white markings adorning his face and neck. Funny, how the reaction makes him think back to his original awakening, and how it hadn't felt strange-- though one could chalk it up to his life being on the line, at the time.
Right. Arval saved his life back then, and then so many times after that, and yet-- ]
... yeah. They're gone now.
[ Not just gone. Shez was the one to cut them down. ]
I've got some gaps in my memory after Byleth and I split up from everyone else that day, so I guess it was at that point that Arval took over my body. I remember... struggling and trying to take control again, but the best I could do was hold them back for a bit so Byleth could run. I know that's when everyone tried to intervene, but after we escaped...
[ A hand ventures into his hair, fingers clutching his head as though he could squeeze the memories of his body, if his mind wasn't entirely conscious at the time. ]
We ran into Solon and killed him. For... a spell? [ Was that right? Did they really sacrifice one of their own for that kind of power? ] He said we came from... Shambhala...?
[ The longer he pushes on, the heavier his breathing, as though the effort to fill in the gaps takes a physical toll to match his mental strain-- and honestly, it feels like an extra invisible hand tries to crush his skull with enough strength to rival a Blaiddyd's. So he shakes it off with a wince deciding not to force it any further for the moment. ]
After that, everything went dark. When I woke up again, I was in this... void? [ He frowns at his own phrasing, but it's the best he can do. ] And Dimitri had been pulled in, along with Claude and Edelgard. Arval was there, too, but... it wasn't really them anymore. It was a man who called himself Epimenides.
[ When Shez hastens to shift back into his more familiar appearance, Yuri's expression turns apologetic. If he can handle Byleth being a big muscular dragon, surely he should be able to handle Shez changing colors... Granted, he took waking up to a gaint scaly beast in Byleth's bednest about as well as one would expect at first.
In his defense, it was a hell of a thing to be presented with first thing in the morning. By comparison, surely he should have been more composed when Shez was just trying to show him what he meant? But what's done is done, and his private self-admonishment goes without comment. ]
Sounds like one hell of a time.
[ An understatement. Shez's account answers some lingering questions he's had, while giving rise to so many new ones. It must have been a wild, disorienting experience for the lot of them, if not a terrifying one. Just winding up in some void, confronted with someone wearing the guise of someone he knew, while not being them at all...
Damn, what happened during the Harbinger's test may have felt terribly reminiscent of that. Here Yuri had already known it to be a terrible thing, but there could well be layers to just how harrowing an experience it was.
[ Oh, was it reminiscent all right-- and in so many more ways than just the one. ]
... yeah, we did. Just not before squaring off against a bunch of copies of ourselves and people we know.
[ Phantoms, as Epimenides had called them, and that right there was especially similar to his Shadow incident, though possibly more cruel. From his one encounter with those things, the Shadow could only keep up the act as Byleth for a limited time, and just barely at that. Those Phantoms, on the other hand... ]
I dunno how that guy could replicate them so well, but they acted exactly like the real deals, down to the way they'd think. Guess he knew exactly who to pick to try and dissuade us from fighting, too: Dedue for Dimitri, Hilda and Hubert for Claude and Edelgard, and-- [ The shortest of pauses for a particularly exhausted sigh. ] --the usual suspect for myself.
[ And there's no amount of sugarcoating or downplaying it that can lessen the weight of his realization, one that has only solidified over the course of his stay in this world. Whether from Arval's persistent enabling of his revenge, Epimenides forcibly taking over his body, the multiple alternate realities he was shown in that hall of mirrors or his run-in with that Shadow, there was always someone or something pitting him against Byleth, like he had no choice in the matter. Sometimes, he truly didn't.
(Sometimes, he was physically robbed of agency. A vessel to someone else's will, as Epimenides had called him.) ]
As if that wasn't cruel enough, he later summoned perfect copies of ourselves into battle. There was really no way to tell friend from foe, so the only solution was that each of us had to slay our own other selves.
[ If his eyes start to shift into something more distant, it's not without reason. We're veering into full Weird territory here, so nothing like a little friendly dissociative state when confronted with memories of witnessing death at one's own hands, right?
(Not pictured: his utter concern for how someone they know actually seemed thrilled to cut himself down. Hmm.) ]
[ Cruel is right. Pitting people against convincing imitations of friends and allies is one hell of an underhanded ploy. It's all news to Yuri, but now that he hears it, it truly is no small wonder why Shez was so shaken when they'd found one another in the labyrinth. And of all the Oracles, the Harbinger.
He wonders what the point of it all was, but there's no sense in trying to answer what they may never know. All they can do is learn from it and be more cautious, lest they fall prey to similar tactics in the future... Yet he and Byleth had been so cautious upon first encountering a "mimic". What had gone wrong after their paths diverged?
This he dares not ask. He'd avoided inquiring after any details his fellow mercenaries haven't volunteered, deeming it best not to pick at still-healing wounds. Oracles may be cruel, but he doesn't intend to be.
For now, he places a companionable hand on Shez's shoulder in a gentle effort to tether him to the present. It seems to him that his friend may be wandering down avenues it's best not to tread, at least in this moment... And he was the one who had asked, and thus prompted it in the first place. ]
Starting to think there's some little group for powerful inhuman entities to brainstorm twisted ways to torment people.
[ A jest, and admittedly a weak one, but the effort is made. ]
Sorry you all went through that before. Can't say the rest of us had any idea what happened at that time.
Edited (when i lose a draft sentence and forget i typed it at all...gg) 2024-02-11 04:52 (UTC)
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no subject
Right. Arval saved his life back then, and then so many times after that, and yet-- ]
... yeah. They're gone now.
[ Not just gone. Shez was the one to cut them down. ]
I've got some gaps in my memory after Byleth and I split up from everyone else that day, so I guess it was at that point that Arval took over my body. I remember... struggling and trying to take control again, but the best I could do was hold them back for a bit so Byleth could run. I know that's when everyone tried to intervene, but after we escaped...
[ A hand ventures into his hair, fingers clutching his head as though he could squeeze the memories of his body, if his mind wasn't entirely conscious at the time. ]
We ran into Solon and killed him. For... a spell? [ Was that right? Did they really sacrifice one of their own for that kind of power? ] He said we came from... Shambhala...?
[ The longer he pushes on, the heavier his breathing, as though the effort to fill in the gaps takes a physical toll to match his mental strain-- and honestly, it feels like an extra invisible hand tries to crush his skull with enough strength to rival a Blaiddyd's. So he shakes it off with a wince deciding not to force it any further for the moment. ]
After that, everything went dark. When I woke up again, I was in this... void? [ He frowns at his own phrasing, but it's the best he can do. ] And Dimitri had been pulled in, along with Claude and Edelgard. Arval was there, too, but... it wasn't really them anymore. It was a man who called himself Epimenides.
no subject
In his defense, it was a hell of a thing to be presented with first thing in the morning. By comparison, surely he should have been more composed when Shez was just trying to show him what he meant? But what's done is done, and his private self-admonishment goes without comment. ]
Sounds like one hell of a time.
[ An understatement. Shez's account answers some lingering questions he's had, while giving rise to so many new ones. It must have been a wild, disorienting experience for the lot of them, if not a terrifying one. Just winding up in some void, confronted with someone wearing the guise of someone he knew, while not being them at all...
Damn, what happened during the Harbinger's test may have felt terribly reminiscent of that. Here Yuri had already known it to be a terrible thing, but there could well be layers to just how harrowing an experience it was.
...Best not speculate, he tells himself. ]
Did you end up squaring off against that guy?
[ Just a hunch. ]
no subject
... yeah, we did. Just not before squaring off against a bunch of copies of ourselves and people we know.
[ Phantoms, as Epimenides had called them, and that right there was especially similar to his Shadow incident, though possibly more cruel. From his one encounter with those things, the Shadow could only keep up the act as Byleth for a limited time, and just barely at that. Those Phantoms, on the other hand... ]
I dunno how that guy could replicate them so well, but they acted exactly like the real deals, down to the way they'd think. Guess he knew exactly who to pick to try and dissuade us from fighting, too: Dedue for Dimitri, Hilda and Hubert for Claude and Edelgard, and-- [ The shortest of pauses for a particularly exhausted sigh. ] --the usual suspect for myself.
[ And there's no amount of sugarcoating or downplaying it that can lessen the weight of his realization, one that has only solidified over the course of his stay in this world. Whether from Arval's persistent enabling of his revenge, Epimenides forcibly taking over his body, the multiple alternate realities he was shown in that hall of mirrors or his run-in with that Shadow, there was always someone or something pitting him against Byleth, like he had no choice in the matter. Sometimes, he truly didn't.
(Sometimes, he was physically robbed of agency. A vessel to someone else's will, as Epimenides had called him.) ]
As if that wasn't cruel enough, he later summoned perfect copies of ourselves into battle. There was really no way to tell friend from foe, so the only solution was that each of us had to slay our own other selves.
[ If his eyes start to shift into something more distant, it's not without reason. We're veering into full Weird territory here, so nothing like a little friendly dissociative state when confronted with memories of witnessing death at one's own hands, right?
(Not pictured: his utter concern for how someone they know actually seemed thrilled to cut himself down. Hmm.) ]
no subject
He wonders what the point of it all was, but there's no sense in trying to answer what they may never know. All they can do is learn from it and be more cautious, lest they fall prey to similar tactics in the future... Yet he and Byleth had been so cautious upon first encountering a "mimic". What had gone wrong after their paths diverged?
This he dares not ask. He'd avoided inquiring after any details his fellow mercenaries haven't volunteered, deeming it best not to pick at still-healing wounds. Oracles may be cruel, but he doesn't intend to be.
For now, he places a companionable hand on Shez's shoulder in a gentle effort to tether him to the present. It seems to him that his friend may be wandering down avenues it's best not to tread, at least in this moment... And he was the one who had asked, and thus prompted it in the first place. ]
Starting to think there's some little group for powerful inhuman entities to brainstorm twisted ways to torment people.
[ A jest, and admittedly a weak one, but the effort is made. ]
Sorry you all went through that before. Can't say the rest of us had any idea what happened at that time.