[ In all honesty, Shez feels like he's grown a little too spoiled since joining the Kingdom army.
Back when he was on his own, even a minor overstep could mean his death; fighting was his livelihood, and a mercenary without a reputation is about as good as a dead man walking, but he likes to think he did a good job with his calculated risks-- as much as Arval liked to constantly remind him otherwise. But within the relative safety of the army, there there were archers to back him up, mages to clear the path ahead, healers to fall back on when he pushed too far. Getting too accustomed to the luxury of danger might be a risk in and of itself.
He's come to love it, though. Not so much the cozy spot within the ranks or the steady influx of gold, but the sense of belonging with them.
Still, it feels just a bit awkward when the healer currently in charge is none other than a recent imperial turncoat. It's true that perhaps Linhardt was more loyal to his own convictions and life goals -- or just his life, period -- than to his homeland, but he doesn't imagine it's very comfortable to have to tend to a former enemy commander. ]
Hey, no need to worry about me, okay? There are soldiers in worse shape that need your help, so--
[ Maybe he's not putting up the most convincing act here, unable to hold a wince back when he tries to move. Ah well, there was an attempt. ]
[He had no interest in joining the celebrations. It was, objectively, a good thing that the Kingdom army had reached Enbarr, killed Duke Aegir, and brokered a ceasefire given how terribly both Duke Aegir and his shadowy associates treated the people living in their territories. But that did not mean Linhardt was going to celebrate the victory of the army that had marched through their territory and murdered his uncle the Baron von Ochs, particularly given they'd done so partially at the behest of the Church, who were full of liars just as surely as Duke Aegir's house was by the end.
However, he had enough of a heart not to hold his distaste for Rhea over the heads of people whose only 'crime' was being born in Faerghus. So when he'd found Marianne in charge of the infirmary, he'd offered to allow her to go celebrate. It gave him something to do other than stew in what this all meant for him. Who was even alive in Adrestia? Was there an Adrestia? Would there be going forward?]
I'm not worried. Your injury is more interesting.
[Which is true - the mercenary had gotten his leg shattered into multiple pieces, which meant the bone bits would need to be removed in addition to using healing magic to grow new bone. Much more interesting than the simple but deadlier injuries Shez referred to.]
If my magical power is required, the other healers can ask me.
[ His injury is interesting. Yeah, he's not sure that's what he'd call it, himself, but he's the patient, for one, and Linhardt seems to be... something of an eccentric, even more so than most nobles already feel like to a mercenary. ]
You call it interesting like I'm some kind of experiment.
[ Which he may as well be? Who even knows who Arval is, why Shez is the only one who can hear them, why he was given these powers... As tools of war, they are no doubt handy, and normally he would just take strength as it comes, needed as it is to keep his head above water-- or a river of blood, as such is the way of war. But lately, he's come to question it.
What he doesn't question is Linhardt's instruction to stop moving-- as it turns out, he actually doesn't like pain! The quicker they're done here, the better. And that's for Linhardt's sake, too. ]
You sure you're okay doing this? The sight of blood makes you queasy, right?
[Whereas experiments are for learning new information. It's important to be accurate: 'interesting' and 'experimental' are two different adjectives. There's nothing new about the problem with Shez's leg; it's just that using Warp magic to remove bone shards requires some intellectual thought, whereas knitting bone together is tedious and boring and something he's been doing since he was 6. And right now, any thoughts that can take his mind off of thoughts of home, his parents, or Caspar are welcomed.
The questions, on the other hand, provoke an immediate emotional reaction. The healer's shoulders rise, his entire body going tense and the open interest in his blue eyes dying out to be replaced with a wary defensiveness, his walls visibly going up.]
Does it matter how I feel?
[Linhardt does despise blood, even after all this time. Hanneman had always been the one to gather any blood needed for their research back when Edelgard was in charge, but after... there had been no time to 'indulge Linhardt's sensitivities' as his parents had put it. He hadn't wanted to pick up a lance, or wield a weapon, at all. It felt wrong, viscerally, given who he was and who had given his family their Crest.
Still, his mother's arguments that nobody expected one of the quill pushers to stab anyone was not without merit. Hubert and Ferdinand had been too predictable.]
I suppose I should be flattered I was worth gathering intelligence on.
[How else would Shez have knowledge of Linhardt's personal traits?
Still, he can't leave questions unanswered. It's not in his nature.]
People dying for stupid reasons makes me feel worse than an upset stomach.
[And Duke Aegir's ego definitely counted as a stupid reason for people to die. Be they Adrestians or Faerghans, though Linhardt isn't allowed to tend to his own people.]
[ As much as Linhardt's answer should be reassuring, it only works to an extent. Breaching this topic has clearly only riled him up, not with the same loudness of anger as Shez would expect from Caspar -- those two seemed to be close friends back in the Academy, weren't they? -- but something roiling beneath the surface, wary and tense.
He sighs, his own shoulders rising and falling with the movement. ]
It's not like anyone was trying to spy on you, you know. I just overheard you when you were talking to Dorothea, that's all.
[ Or: there's no reason why Linhardt shouldn't feel flattered to be here, but it should be noted that no one was so distrustful of him as to go gather intelligence on him, as he says. Even from a purely strategic point of view, it makes sense to know an ally's strengths and weaknesses as to better figure out their placement in the frontlines, but they're not indifferent to Linhardt's sensibilities, be it his distaste for blood or the fact they march upon his old home.
Maybe it would be naive to think former enemies could be friends. Still, is it so hard for him to understand they see value in him not just as a fighter, but as a person? ]
Do you really think we don't care how you feel? The deeper we step into Adrestian territory, the more faces you'll recognize across the battlefield, right? Trust me, I know Dimitri would be first to tell you to stay back and just offer back-up, if taking the Empire head-on would be too hard for you.
[Linhardt gestures to his head to indicate that he's working in his mind. Moving leaves a magical trail of energy behind - it's how the mages can attack (or heal) through walls and other obstacles. They can 'see' their comrades or enemies.
Still, he accepts the answer with a nod. Everything that Linhardt knows of Shez suggests the other man is rather straight-forward, and he has in fact been speaking to Dorothea a lot. She understands.
But Shez has to get...emotional about it. Linhardt again shifts from foot to foot, discomfort written everywhere in his posture. Outside of stolen private conversations, Linhardt has handled most of his feelings post-Edelgard's...illness? Injury? Mental assassination? by not handling them at all. Some days he wakes up and pretends he's like a golem and has to manually tell his body what to do. Like it's not his at all.]
This is going to feel odd. Please don't move.
[Linhardt temporarily ignores the question, opting instead to focus his efforts on removing the pieces of bone from Shez's leg. The entire thing is shattered, so Linhardt has to feel the flow of energy in the leg and find a way to identify the bone for warping without warping out something else that Shez needs, like his nerves or blood. Manageable, but it does take concentration.
The healer closes his eyes and moves his hands over the leg, lips moving in unaware, subvocalized thought. Then Shez has the odd feeling of a part of his body being gone suddenly. And indeed something is, as several shards of bone appear on the floor next to them.]
I think that some care. I think that Annette is concerned. I think that Dimitri cares insofar that he seems to care for most people - a trait I appreciate and one reason I trusted Faerghus to treat my soldiers well.
[His eyes are now open, but not making eye contact.]
Mercedes is very understanding.
[Almost too much so. It's weird.]
There are a couple of practical reasons I'm opting for visibility. Once again, please stay still.
[The bone has been removed, which means Linhardt can start healing all the veins, arteries, and other bodily infrastructure as well as knit the bone together. This work, however, is tedious, so he resumes speaking as the magic works its...well, magic, repairing Shez's leg, light dancing across the skin's surface.]
Dimitri cannot make whatever decisions he likes, and while he and some of his allies are very accommodating, others very clearly think throwing me into a frozen lake would be a much safer option. If glares started fires, Shamir, Margrave Gautier, or Rodrigue Fraldarius probably would have set me alight quite often.
[Their suspicion is not wrong from a tactical point of view. They are doing their due diligence and Linhardt does not hold that against them.]
Openly helping means I keep myself from being a source of internal strife for Dimitri. Causing internal dissent would be a poor way to repay the kindness we've received.
In addition, the Empire is under substantial internal dissent, and in particular my father and Duke Aegir have a...
[What would be the best adjective?]
They hate each other. Yes. That is accurate, I believe.
So my being prominent acts as a counter-weight to any desire Duke Aegir or anyone else might have in killing him. Because then I would be Count Hevring and Dimitri would have complete, unrestricted access to all of our resources, not just leverage.
[Linhardt actually loves his parents. Don't make it a thing.]
Besides, the Duke and the Empire are not doing well financially whereas my house is quite stable, so I may be able to convince some of our foes to go home. You're a mercenary, you know how long soldiers stick around when you suggest they may not get paid.
["Whatever he's paying you, we'll give you 125% and we're actually good for it." is a decent motivator.]
I would not ask more people to suffer or perish due to my distaste. So that is why I meant my feelings are irrelevant. It was not meant to be an attack on you or the others in the Faerghan army. You've actually been quite accommodating, particularly to myself and Bernadetta. She's...well, she doesn't feel safe anywhere, but she feels at least as safe with you as she did at the Academy. Thank you.
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for @sleepfan
Back when he was on his own, even a minor overstep could mean his death; fighting was his livelihood, and a mercenary without a reputation is about as good as a dead man walking, but he likes to think he did a good job with his calculated risks-- as much as Arval liked to constantly remind him otherwise. But within the relative safety of the army, there there were archers to back him up, mages to clear the path ahead, healers to fall back on when he pushed too far. Getting too accustomed to the luxury of danger might be a risk in and of itself.
He's come to love it, though. Not so much the cozy spot within the ranks or the steady influx of gold, but the sense of belonging with them.
Still, it feels just a bit awkward when the healer currently in charge is none other than a recent imperial turncoat. It's true that perhaps Linhardt was more loyal to his own convictions and life goals -- or just his life, period -- than to his homeland, but he doesn't imagine it's very comfortable to have to tend to a former enemy commander. ]
Hey, no need to worry about me, okay? There are soldiers in worse shape that need your help, so--
[ Maybe he's not putting up the most convincing act here, unable to hold a wince back when he tries to move. Ah well, there was an attempt. ]
no subject
However, he had enough of a heart not to hold his distaste for Rhea over the heads of people whose only 'crime' was being born in Faerghus. So when he'd found Marianne in charge of the infirmary, he'd offered to allow her to go celebrate. It gave him something to do other than stew in what this all meant for him. Who was even alive in Adrestia? Was there an Adrestia? Would there be going forward?]
I'm not worried. Your injury is more interesting.
[Which is true - the mercenary had gotten his leg shattered into multiple pieces, which meant the bone bits would need to be removed in addition to using healing magic to grow new bone. Much more interesting than the simple but deadlier injuries Shez referred to.]
If my magical power is required, the other healers can ask me.
[Or not. It's not his problem.]
You should stop moving unless you like pain.
no subject
You call it interesting like I'm some kind of experiment.
[ Which he may as well be? Who even knows who Arval is, why Shez is the only one who can hear them, why he was given these powers... As tools of war, they are no doubt handy, and normally he would just take strength as it comes, needed as it is to keep his head above water-- or a river of blood, as such is the way of war. But lately, he's come to question it.
What he doesn't question is Linhardt's instruction to stop moving-- as it turns out, he actually doesn't like pain! The quicker they're done here, the better. And that's for Linhardt's sake, too. ]
You sure you're okay doing this? The sight of blood makes you queasy, right?
no subject
[Whereas experiments are for learning new information. It's important to be accurate: 'interesting' and 'experimental' are two different adjectives. There's nothing new about the problem with Shez's leg; it's just that using Warp magic to remove bone shards requires some intellectual thought, whereas knitting bone together is tedious and boring and something he's been doing since he was 6.
And right now, any thoughts that can take his mind off of thoughts of home, his parents, or Caspar are welcomed.
The questions, on the other hand, provoke an immediate emotional reaction. The healer's shoulders rise, his entire body going tense and the open interest in his blue eyes dying out to be replaced with a wary defensiveness, his walls visibly going up.]
Does it matter how I feel?
[Linhardt does despise blood, even after all this time. Hanneman had always been the one to gather any blood needed for their research back when Edelgard was in charge, but after... there had been no time to 'indulge Linhardt's sensitivities' as his parents had put it. He hadn't wanted to pick up a lance, or wield a weapon, at all. It felt wrong, viscerally, given who he was and who had given his family their Crest.
Still, his mother's arguments that nobody expected one of the quill pushers to stab anyone was not without merit. Hubert and Ferdinand had been too predictable.]
I suppose I should be flattered I was worth gathering intelligence on.
[How else would Shez have knowledge of Linhardt's personal traits?
Still, he can't leave questions unanswered. It's not in his nature.]
People dying for stupid reasons makes me feel worse than an upset stomach.
[And Duke Aegir's ego definitely counted as a stupid reason for people to die. Be they Adrestians or Faerghans, though Linhardt isn't allowed to tend to his own people.]
no subject
He sighs, his own shoulders rising and falling with the movement. ]
It's not like anyone was trying to spy on you, you know. I just overheard you when you were talking to Dorothea, that's all.
[ Or: there's no reason why Linhardt shouldn't feel flattered to be here, but it should be noted that no one was so distrustful of him as to go gather intelligence on him, as he says. Even from a purely strategic point of view, it makes sense to know an ally's strengths and weaknesses as to better figure out their placement in the frontlines, but they're not indifferent to Linhardt's sensibilities, be it his distaste for blood or the fact they march upon his old home.
Maybe it would be naive to think former enemies could be friends. Still, is it so hard for him to understand they see value in him not just as a fighter, but as a person? ]
Do you really think we don't care how you feel? The deeper we step into Adrestian territory, the more faces you'll recognize across the battlefield, right? Trust me, I know Dimitri would be first to tell you to stay back and just offer back-up, if taking the Empire head-on would be too hard for you.
no subject
[Linhardt gestures to his head to indicate that he's working in his mind. Moving leaves a magical trail of energy behind - it's how the mages can attack (or heal) through walls and other obstacles. They can 'see' their comrades or enemies.
Still, he accepts the answer with a nod. Everything that Linhardt knows of Shez suggests the other man is rather straight-forward, and he has in fact been speaking to Dorothea a lot. She understands.
But Shez has to get...emotional about it. Linhardt again shifts from foot to foot, discomfort written everywhere in his posture. Outside of stolen private conversations, Linhardt has handled most of his feelings post-Edelgard's...illness? Injury? Mental assassination? by not handling them at all. Some days he wakes up and pretends he's like a golem and has to manually tell his body what to do. Like it's not his at all.]
This is going to feel odd. Please don't move.
[Linhardt temporarily ignores the question, opting instead to focus his efforts on removing the pieces of bone from Shez's leg. The entire thing is shattered, so Linhardt has to feel the flow of energy in the leg and find a way to identify the bone for warping without warping out something else that Shez needs, like his nerves or blood. Manageable, but it does take concentration.
The healer closes his eyes and moves his hands over the leg, lips moving in unaware, subvocalized thought. Then Shez has the odd feeling of a part of his body being gone suddenly. And indeed something is, as several shards of bone appear on the floor next to them.]
I think that some care. I think that Annette is concerned. I think that Dimitri cares insofar that he seems to care for most people - a trait I appreciate and one reason I trusted Faerghus to treat my soldiers well.
[His eyes are now open, but not making eye contact.]
Mercedes is very understanding.
[Almost too much so. It's weird.]
There are a couple of practical reasons I'm opting for visibility. Once again, please stay still.
[The bone has been removed, which means Linhardt can start healing all the veins, arteries, and other bodily infrastructure as well as knit the bone together. This work, however, is tedious, so he resumes speaking as the magic works its...well, magic, repairing Shez's leg, light dancing across the skin's surface.]
Dimitri cannot make whatever decisions he likes, and while he and some of his allies are very accommodating, others very clearly think throwing me into a frozen lake would be a much safer option. If glares started fires, Shamir, Margrave Gautier, or Rodrigue Fraldarius probably would have set me alight quite often.
[Their suspicion is not wrong from a tactical point of view. They are doing their due diligence and Linhardt does not hold that against them.]
Openly helping means I keep myself from being a source of internal strife for Dimitri. Causing internal dissent would be a poor way to repay the kindness we've received.
In addition, the Empire is under substantial internal dissent, and in particular my father and Duke Aegir have a...
[What would be the best adjective?]
They hate each other. Yes. That is accurate, I believe.
So my being prominent acts as a counter-weight to any desire Duke Aegir or anyone else might have in killing him. Because then I would be Count Hevring and Dimitri would have complete, unrestricted access to all of our resources, not just leverage.
[Linhardt actually loves his parents. Don't make it a thing.]
Besides, the Duke and the Empire are not doing well financially whereas my house is quite stable, so I may be able to convince some of our foes to go home. You're a mercenary, you know how long soldiers stick around when you suggest they may not get paid.
["Whatever he's paying you, we'll give you 125% and we're actually good for it." is a decent motivator.]
I would not ask more people to suffer or perish due to my distaste. So that is why I meant my feelings are irrelevant. It was not meant to be an attack on you or the others in the Faerghan army. You've actually been quite accommodating, particularly to myself and Bernadetta. She's...well, she doesn't feel safe anywhere, but she feels at least as safe with you as she did at the Academy. Thank you.